Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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