Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
