We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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