Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
