Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
