All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
