Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Randomize
