We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
The uberlube is also flammable
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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