if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
