It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The beer is more important than you right now.
organizing the empties. That sober.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
