I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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