I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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