This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
