You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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