I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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