you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
