he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
