OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
