that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Farmville is her only friend.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
