Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
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