Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
