those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
