If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
