all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
