I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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