Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
