Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
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