escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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