I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
