Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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