We got so high we made milksteak
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
