Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I need moral support for this bender
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
