I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
no you cant smoke seaweed
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
