just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
