toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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