How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
