i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
