My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
