Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Two words: nipple clamps
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