handjob tips. give me some.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
