Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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