I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
