He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
