your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
