So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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