that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
