i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
