I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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