I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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