I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
And then he peed in my hair
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